I wannas sexs uuuuu
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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