Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
