it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?