Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..