I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen