Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
