your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize