You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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