I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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