Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize