are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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