smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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