New low: just hacked my moms facebook
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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