she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
