i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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