rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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