So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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