I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
