maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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