this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
