i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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