My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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