conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
