It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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