He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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