I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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