living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.