I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.