Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.