you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They took my balls.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.