Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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