I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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