East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
