sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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