Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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  (219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won. http://tfl.nu/tu5d
  Replies (36) Good night (21333) Bad night (2979) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

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  (281): Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high. http://tfl.nu/02yt
  Replies (19) Good night (3531) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.

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  (303): No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting. http://tfl.nu/foam
  Replies (7) Good night (4181) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.

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  (407): it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone. http://tfl.nu/u2hu
  Replies (17) Good night (1310) Bad night (4230) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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  (678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia
  Replies (7) Good night (3559) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

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  (412): I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight http://tfl.nu/88wf
  Replies (8) Good night (3507) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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  (740): He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker. http://tfl.nu/ldq8
  Replies (18) Good night (3572) Bad night (1762) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

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  (315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol
  Replies (6) Good night (1821) Bad night (1634) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?

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  (732): A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me? http://tfl.nu/nk2r
  Replies (11) Good night (2415) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4396) Bad night (1070)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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  (412): I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first http://tfl.nu/vbea
  Replies (4) Good night (1362) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

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  (+44): gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend http://tfl.nu/upf3
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.

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  (925): Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days. http://tfl.nu/goog
  Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.

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  (304): Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch. http://tfl.nu/jght
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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  (830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (141)

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