i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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