there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
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Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.