i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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