That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
