: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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