Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize