you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
