if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.