apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird