the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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