so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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