this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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