thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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