Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
