you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize