I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize