My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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