You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
