i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
