So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
