You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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